What is Grief

By Shyloe Ajayi

What is Grief?

Grief is one of those unavoidable topics that will make you feel so uncomfortable. Yet, it is one of those topics that hugely affects you and every human being on earth. As humans, our natural reaction or instinct to pain is to run away, avoid it or dismiss it. But, when it comes to grief we can’t use any of these unhealthy reactions to escape, because the truth is, no one can out run death. Death is inevitable.

In my early childhood, grief felt foreign and nonexistent. I had no idea or perception of this mysterious phenomenon. Life seemed “death-less”, and painless, until my cousin Mary died from cancer at the age of 8. I didn’t understand why we stopped having holiday dinners at her home. I just knew she developed this strange disease that made her disappear and we couldn’t see her anymore. Though, I couldn’t conceptualize death in my young and undeveloped brain, losing cousin Mary at the age of 8 did help me to understand that death is not discriminatory, prejudice or bias. It didn’t matter how old you were or how healthy you strive to be, everyone will disappear one day and never come back.

What is grief? Grief is an internal emotional response to any loss. For example, we can lose a job, go through a divorce, lose a house, move to a foreign country, or lose parts of yourself to disease. Any loss can be painful and heartbreaking. However, there is nothing like losing someone you love. Losing someone has its on category. When a someone dies, we completely change and no longer the same person. The grief has affected every part of us, the mind, soul, body and heart. You are mentally, spiritually, physically, emotionally and socially different and we enter something called the grief cycle. This cycle is a never ending cycle but is there to guide us in our pain and suffering.