By Shyloe Ajayi

What is Grief?

“I am worn out from sobbing. All night I flood my bed with weeping, drenching it with my tears. My vision is blurred by grief…”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭6‬:‭6‬-‭7‬a NLT‬‬

Facial and Skin Care

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Detox & Purification

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Acupressure

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Definition

Grief is a strong and internal emotional response to a loss. It comes in different shapes, sizes, and colors. It is unique to the individual and looks different for everyone. No one has the exact same grief.

Grief is…

The emotional response to any loss
It’s tears falling from your eyes
It’s walking around with a deep hole inside you
It’s the daily reminder of their absence
It’s wetting your pillow with your tears late at night
It’s readjusting your entire life without them
It’s letting go of the old you and embracing the new you
It’s holding on to the memories and their values
It’s a shattered heart that needs space to heal
It’s feeling drained and exhausted by all your crying
It’s having a sleepless night because you miss them so much.
It’s holding back the tears at work until you get home to finally release.
It’s reminiscing about the good times you shared.
It’s feeling a void or emptiness inside
It’s hoping that their death was just a bad dream and not reality.
It’s coming to realization that she/he is never coming back
When the pain is so unbearable you think you will die.
It’s feeling comforted by Gods word
It’s the stomach issues
It’s the anxiety and fear of thinking about losing another loved one
It’s the reality that grief is unavoidable and inevitable.
it’s the grief triggers that pops up unexpectedly
it’s waiting to go home to journal and cry
it’s looking at old photos and videos of them, wishing you could go back during that time.
it’s going through the grief cycle
it’s thinking that the grief will never end
It’s reviewing the last thing you said or did with them.
Lastly, it’s praying to God and asking Him to help you persevere and make it through another year.

What is grief to you? How would you describe your grief?

How Does Grief Manifest?

“And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.’” Mark‬ ‭12‬:‭30‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Grief affects every part of us (our mind, soul, body and heart). You are mentally, spiritually, physically, emotionally and socially different forever. While grieving, God still wants every part of our minds, hearts, soul and body. We have to love God in every aspect and not allow ourselves to be consumed by our grief.

Grief manifests itself physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually and socially/behaviorally. Let’s look at some ways that it can manifest in each of these categories.

Physically

-Digestive issues- We can struggle with constipation, diarrhea, vomiting, nausea
-Weight changes-We can lose weight or gain weight due to overeating or under-eating.
-Body aches- We can start having neck and back pain, headaches and migraines and overall muscle pain or tension.
-Dry mouth- We can become very dehydrated.
-Sleep issues- We can become sleep deprived (insomnia or nocturnal panic attacks) or overly sleep.
-Appetite changes- We can start craving different kinds of food, or reject the foods we once enjoyed. We can lose our appetite and or increase our appetite.

In what ways has grief affected you physically?

Emotionally

-Shutting down and numbing
-Detaching yourself from the reality
-Disconnected emotionally from others
-Stop ourselves from receiving comfort
-Anxiety and stress about your future, your mortality, your family’s mortality.
-Easily irritable or impatient with yourself and others
-A lack of compassion for yourself and others
-Withdrawn and isolated
-Feeling bitter and resentful towards God, the caretakers or the person who died.
-Living in regret, guilt and unforgiveness

In what ways has grief affected you emotionally?

Mentally

-Disbelief or in denial thoughts: “It didn’t happen.” “There must be some mistake.” “I don’t want to believe it happened.” These are often the first thoughts to occur after hearing of a death.
-Confusion: Inability to think or reason in a focused, clear manner. Difficult in structuring your thoughts and concentrating.
-Forgetfulness and distracted
-Negative or suicidal thoughts- Wishing to die to join your loved one, believe there is no meaning or purpose for your life.
-Hallucinations: Believing you saw, heard, touched, tasted or smelled the person who died.
-Seeking Purpose: Thoughts of purpose seeking and meaning to life.
-Nightmares: Having disturbing dreams about your loved one or dreams showing that you’re trying to rescue them from death.

In what ways has grief affected you mentally?

Spiritually

-Trust and faith- We can become more faithful and trustful of God or we can lose faith or trust in God.
-Prayer- We can stop praying because we are angry, we can start praying for the very first time or pray more.
-Reading- We can struggle with reading Gods word, stop reading Gods word completely or we can grow in reading his Word more.
-Reliance- we can become Independent and self-reliant or more reliant on God.
-Church-We can stop going to church overall or become inconsistent or see our need to be around the fellow of believers for support.
-Tears- We can struggle with crying and vulnerability or we let the tears flow.

In what ways has grief affected you emotionally?

Socially

-Isolate yourself from family and friends
-Ignore people calls and messages
-Avoiding any reminders of the person (objects, places, movies, clothing).
-Working or traveling to distract yourself from the death
-Create unhealthy attachments with people or objects or create healthy bonds with others.
-Friendships- forming genuine relationships with others or damaging the relationships you have already.
-Social media- Become to consume with social media or remove it completely to disconnect from the world.
-Grief Groups- joining a community who relates to your grief

In what ways has grief affected you mentally?