By Shyloe Ajayi
What is Grief?
Grief is one of those unavoidable topics that will make you feel so uncomfortable. Yet, it is one of those topics that hugely affects you and every human being on earth. As humans, our natural reaction or instinct to pain is to run away, avoid it or dismiss it. But, when it comes to grief we can’t use any of these unhealthy responses to escape pain, because the truth is, no one can out run death. Death is inevitable and everyone has an expiration date.
Early Childhood:
In my early childhood, grief felt foreign and nonexistent. I had no idea or any perception of this mysterious phenomenon. Life seemed “death-less”, and painless, until my cousin Mary died from cancer at the age of 8. I didn’t understand why we stopped having holiday dinners at her home. I just knew she developed this strange disease that made her disappear and we couldn’t see her anymore. Though, I couldn’t conceptualize death in my little undeveloped brain, losing cousin Mary at the age of 8 did help me to understand that death is not discriminatory, prejudice or bias. It didn’t matter how old you were or how healthy you strive to be, everyone will disappear one day and will never come back.
So, what is it:
What is grief? Grief is an internal emotional response to any loss. For example, we can lose a job, go through a divorce, lose a house, move to a foreign country, or lose parts of ourselves to disease. Any loss can be painful and heartbreaking. However, in my opinion, there is nothing like losing someone you love. Losing someone to death is one of the most agonizing and heartbreaking feeling a human heart can experience. The pain is so intense that it can leave you emotionally wounded for life and will completely change you. We can no longer be the same person we use to be even if we try due to the biological impact it has on us. Grief affects every part of us, the mind, soul, body and heart. You are mentally, spiritually, physically, emotionally and socially different forever. Once we experience a death, we immediately enter something called the grief cycle. This cycle is a painful and never ending cycle but it is designed by God to guide us in our pain and suffering. Before we can willingly allow ourselves to go through this cycle with God, we must understand the importance of grieving. Especially grieving Gods way.
Questions
- What perceptions do you have about grief?
- Does the grief topic make you feel uncomfortable?
Take away:
- Grief isn’t discriminatory, bias or prejudice.
- Grief affects every aspect of your life-emotionally, mentally, physically, socially, and spiritually.
- After we lose someone, we are forever changed.
- Our time on earth is precious. Cherish your loved ones while they are alive.
Scripture to meditate on:
”A time to be born and a time to die. A time to plant and a time to harvest. A time to kill and a time to heal. A time to tear down and a time to build up. A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance.“
Ecclesiastes 3:2-4 NLT